On the three hour ride home from the mini-vacay to Virginia Beach, myself, my sister, and our friend Kristin discussed alot of things. Mostly though, we talked about marriage and I discovered something that I never really thought of before, each marriage is significantly different.
My sister and her husband are surprisingly independent while Kristin and her husband are very sweet and caring. I started thinking about what someone would say my marriage looked like from an outsiders point of view. We joke around alot, tease, laugh, cook, hug, kiss, and all in all act like idiots. But really, who in love isn't an idiot? Hahaha. Okay, bad joke...
So, we started talking about marriage counseling and what we do for our spouses to build our relationships. What do you do for your spouse that shows him/her that you love them? It was really hard for me to come up with an answer for this and I still don't really know. I love to cook and he loves to eat? He loves to fix things and I don't...does that mean I'm showing I love him by being lazy? How does this work? Well, you may have heard of a little book called "The Five Love Languages".
I haven't had a chance to read this book but I am very intrigued by the premise of it. Basically, there are five "love languages": words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch. Each person recognizes one of these as someone showing they love you. After I heard about this book, I immediately jumped online to check it out and from there, took a little quiz to find out what my love language is, and it's words of affirmation. When someone tells me they love me or that I've done a good job on something, that shows me they care for me.
Now, just because you score lower in certain areas, like quality time or physical touch, doesn't mean you hate spending time with your partner or being touched. It only means that you feel the STRONGEST about the one's you score higher in. For me, I really do think that being told you're loved is the best way you can express that feeling and it's funny to me that it's my love language... most women might think it's gift giving (LOL) but check it out, you'll be surprised.
I'm really glad I took the time to look into this and I mentioned the book to Kevin the other day and were both excited to read it together. Now, if I can only show him enough computer skills to take the quiz, we'll be in business!!!